I’ve figured it out: My type is tall, handsome and dorky as fuck
I know you’re really proud ‘cause you think you’re well hung
But I think it’s time you learn how to use your tongue (yeah)
You say you want things to be even and you want things to be fair
But you’re afraid to get your teeth caught in my pubic hair
If you’re lying there expecting me to suck your dick
You’re gonna have to give me more than just a token lick
Well, you may not like it but you better learn how
‘Cause it’s your turn now
Now, you suck
Suk it hard
Go down, baby
Lick it hard
And move your tongue around
If you’re worried ‘bout babies you can lower your risk
By giving me that special cunnilingus kiss
It’s on your face that I’m gonna sit
You can wiggle you can jiggle your tongue on my clit
Don’t worry about making me have an orgasm
Just take your time and do it with enthusiasm
I can tell it’s making you scared just thinking of it
But you better learn to love it
When you hear ‘safe sex’ you snicker under your breath
We’ve gotta take cover we’re flirting with death
AIDS is our problem, we’ve gotta talk
Break out your dental dam and your latex sock
I’m your latex lover wrapped like a gift
Got my microwave plastic wrap heating up my clit, wooh!
Dinner’s on, get busy with my booty
Got a couple of flavors, sweet licorice and fruity
I know you said luscious pussy with a cover
I’m aching too, we can’t taste each other
There’s no slacking off with an unprotected stroke
This aint no joke
Sisters..sisters, you’ve got the power…use it!
chick: You brought a condom, right?
chick: I’m unprotected.
dude: Ain’t you on the pill?
chick: Oh, that was great and everything, but you know,
I think it’s your turn to go down on me.
dude: Oh, I’m tired, I’m tired..
chick: What do you mean you’re tired?
chick: Come on, baby, come on!..
dude: No, no, that’s awful…that tastes terrible!
chick: You asshole! You shit!
I know you think it’s a real drag
To suck my cunt when I’m on the rag
Quit making up stories, ah, give me a break
‘Cause I really don’t believe that you’ve got a headache
You tell me it’s gross to suck my yeast infection
How do you think I feel when I gag on your erection? ugh!
You’re wasting your tongue with lame excuses and lies
Get your face between my thighs
Now, you SUCK!
how do people have relationship after relationship like i can’t find a single person to find me remotely attractive for a solid second
the “text me when you get home so i know you’re safe” kind of people are the kind of people i wanna be around
Olivia, my eldest daughter, caught measles when she was seven years old. As the illness took its usual course I can remember reading to her often in bed and not feeling particularly alarmed about it. Then one morning, when she was well on the road to recovery, I was sitting on her bed showing her how to fashion little animals out of coloured pipe-cleaners, and when it came to her turn to make one herself, I noticed that her fingers and her mind were not working together and she couldn’t do anything.
“Are you feeling all right?” I asked her.
“I feel all sleepy, ” she said.
In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.
The measles had turned into a terrible thing called measles encephalitis and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.
That was twenty-four years ago in 1962, but even now, if a child with measles happens to develop the same deadly reaction from measles as Olivia did, there would still be nothing the doctors could do to help her.
On the other hand, there is today something that parents can do to make sure that this sort of tragedy does not happen to a child of theirs. They can insist that their child is immunised against measles. I was unable to do that for Olivia in 1962 because in those days a reliable measles vaccine had not been discovered. Today a good and safe vaccine is available to every family and all you have to do is to ask your doctor to administer it.
It is not yet generally accepted that measles can be a dangerous illness.
Believe me, it is. In my opinion parents who now refuse to have their children immunised are putting the lives of those children at risk.
In America, where measles immunisation is compulsory, measles like smallpox, has been virtually wiped out.
Here in Britain, because so many parents refuse, either out of obstinacy or ignorance or fear, to allow their children to be immunised, we still have a hundred thousand cases of measles every year.
Out of those, more than 10,000 will suffer side effects of one kind or another.
At least 10,000 will develop ear or chest infections.
About 20 will die.
LET THAT SINK IN.
Every year around 20 children will die in Britain from measles.
So what about the risks that your children will run from being immunised?
They are almost non-existent. Listen to this. In a district of around 300,000 people, there will be only one child every 250 years who will develop serious side effects from measles immunisation! That is about a million to one chance. I should think there would be more chance of your child choking to death on a chocolate bar than of becoming seriously ill from a measles immunisation.
So what on earth are you worrying about?
It really is almost a crime to allow your child to go unimmunised.
Roald Dahl, 1986
NINETEEN EIGHTY SIX.
roald dahl was calling out the anti-vaccination movement as self indulgent bullshit //thirty god damn years ago//.
And this is only in recent history. I can’t imagine the numbers if we had data all the way back to 1986.
And thanks to anti-vaxxers, measles is back in the United States.